The Big Move

It seemed as if everything with the move has been going too smoothly and I had been anticipating disaster. But, much to our luck, we got anything but that. We got purple mountains majesty. We got deer and antelope playing. We got cheesy roadside stops and an awesome lightning show. Details? Sure, we got those too!

We were supposed to leave Monday morning, but that turned into leaving Monday at 4:30. The truck was packed and loaded and we were good to go. Jesse wanted to wait a day, but I strongly suggested that we had to leave because we had a timeline to stick to. So I took one for the team and after waking up at 5:30 and working with Jesse to move that day, and drove us out.

 

Highlights of Nevada included seeing a big horn sheep on a mountainside near Battle Mountain, a crazy indian historic ground, also near Battle Mountain, and a man we wanted to call Repo Man, because we were certain he was going UFO hunting due to the excessive amount of radio antennas and tin foil he had on his car.

At 7:30 am, I got us into Salt Lake City, UT. We were now back on schedule. I also had to pee really bad and found that I am not a fan of Utah for multiple reasons: including the fact they assume people don't have to pee before 6:00 am, Mormons don't approve of booze or caffeine, and apparently, I discovered the hard way that cloud reflections on salt lakes give me motion sickness. Not cool. Oh, and the freeway offramps downtown only give you the weird alpha-numeric streets you get off on and don't have any of those handy-dandy "gas", "food", "lodging" blue signs every other state we drove through had. Utah... a world of it's own, to which I say, not going back and glad we never moved there. I would have have gone bat shit crazy if I had to live there, I'm sure.

Next up was Wyoming. All I know of Wyoming is that is where Brokeback Mountain is from. So I could only think of gay cowboys and how I'm still traumatized at the fact Jen from Dawson's Creek and The Princess Diaries showed their boobs. Aaaah! OK, I also know that not once, but on multiple occasions, several different people have asked me if I was either from Wyoming or mentioned something along the likes of that I would fit in well there. Let me tell you what! I loved Wyoming! It was so gorgeous out there. The biggest disappointment was that Jesse didn't stop to let me take a picture with the giant bronze Davy Crockett or go to the Davy Crockett historical site/park area. We saw herds upon herds of antelope (lope lope as I call them.) Wyoming was nothing but beautiful. From the rolling green hills with ginormous wind turbines, to the grazing antelope and cattle. It was probably the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The lyrics to Home on the Range and My Country Tis of Thee make sense now that I have been to Wyoming. I can truly say I understand...

After Wyoming was Nebraska. The only thing that pops into my head when I think of Nebraska is this creepy detective cartoon from my old job for a Nebraska client, which I happened to see so much of over the course of my time there as I was bogged down with the Nebraska stuff. I just remembered all these odd sounding towns for various programs and I was now driving through them thinking, "Yeah, I remember their logo..." Nebraska is one of those places, though, that I have never been to, and after going I think I want to go back. Who says that? Who says, "I want to visit Nebraska!" Me, I guess. We stayed at a Motel 6 in Big Spring and it felt like staying at a resort. They had HBO, a pool, and a steak house right next door. All I can say is Motel 6 is really steppin' it up. We got dinner at the steak house and it was good stuff, but the decor was what made the place. It was basically my gun theme restaurant idea I always wanted to do. Guns were everywhere. The chandeliers were made of antlers. And they had the best bread and butter I ever had. True story.

Our stay in Nebraska had set us back severely on our time line. Now we had to make up another 8 hours. The next day, we had breakfast and watched the Weather Channel and talked about how it was a good idea we went the way we did since the southwest was on fire and there was some huge flood in Hamburg, Iowa. We got back on the road and drove some more, stopping at Fort Cody, NE and doing cheesy tourist photos and things of the sort. Then, it was back on the road and we made it through to Iowa. Iowa pretty much looked what we were expecting Nebraska to look like. Funny how that happens. Well, wouldn't you know it, just as we were getting close to HWY 59, we saw the sign: HWY 59 CLOSED FROM FLOODING, USE ALTERNATE ROUTE. Fanfreakintastic. So we kept driving along the 2 till we got to the 71. At one point, the alternate route was nothing more than a single freeway lane as the other lane was submerged in water. The drive on the 71 seemed like forever and we were almost certain we were lost, but in the end, we were able to get back on course. We saw some coyotes in corn fields as well as deer, one of which was a buck with fresh antlers, still covered in fur! Neato. Finally, we wound up in Missouri which was OK until we hit Kansas City. That was supposed to be our destination stop for the second night. Instead, we passed it up as the city reminded Jesse and myself too much of the really bad parts of downtown LA and we were on the road far too long and agitated from poorly marked freeway signs and bad drivers. But, we got past Kansas City and spent the night in Springfield, MO.

Our final day of driving was out of Missouri, into Arkansas, which was another place I had never been to and all I think of when I think of Arkansas is Bill Clinton, specifically of him playing a saxaphone. Again, I'd like to add Mammoth Spring, AK to my list of places I'd like to visit. We bought a watermelon from some kids at a gas station and I tore that thing apart last night and it was fabulous. Anyway, after Arkansas, the trip gets dull and tiresome. I was looking forward to going through Tennessee, but it was kinda a drag. Maybe it was the weather, who knows? Mississippi was the next state and the only interesting thing there was the river of the same name, which is massive. Alabama was the last state we had to travel through and it was dull. I fell asleep the last part until we were nearly to Phenix City and close to our destination.

On Friday, at 4:30 am eastern time, we made it to Columbus, GA. We checked into a motel for the night and crashed till just about close to check out. We were lucky to even get a room as there was a graduation at Fort Benning and half the motels in town were completely booked.

Long story short, it was a very long drive. If I had to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't want to simply because moving is a lot of work, especially in the heat, and driving a moving truck towing another truck up steep mountain passes sucks, especially when you're floorin' it and only going 20 mph and the engine sounds like it's gonna die. Heh. Good times. Anyway, while I have no desire to drive cross country again, I do still have the desire to see more of our beautiful country. It is truly amazing and there are so many wonderful places that aren't large metropolitan cities that deserve to be seen and could only be discovered through a great American road trip. One of my dreams was to go on a cross country road trip and I am happy to say I did just that! Only, this time, I won't be coming back. We're here to stay and it's a pretty interesting place.

The End.

Oh, and more pics from the trip are on my facebook.

Networked Blogs

OK, so today while doing some virtual house cleaning, I figure I'd let you know, I used to have my blog fed through networked blogs on facebook, but after separating the Gunslinging Housewife and personal blog(s), you'll have to relink because I deleted the other one. So if you enjoy Gunslinging Housewife stuff, be sure to subscribe to my blog. You may even enjoy my personal blog, too, with my stupid observation stories.

<3 me

April Showers E-Postal Match

I will be uploading an e-postal match on Gunslinging Housewife next month. In the meantime, all my little blog readers and facebook friends can take advantage of the sneak peak, not to mention you can print them out and start doing them now if you want. Practice, practice, practice and submit your best score!  Highest score(s) of each division gets bragging rights. But I'll put up a picture of your winning target and give you a shout out :)

Here's how it works:

Print the April Showers e-postal match target from www.gunslinginghousewife.com .  If you don't have Adobe Acrobat Reader you can download it for free at www.adobe.com .  

Rules:
This is an honor system.
Shooter has 10 rounds to hit all the targets.
Start with the drop at the bottom and work your way up to the top.
Break up the rain clouds to prevent any future rain drops from falling.
Tally up your points.
Take a photo of your score with your name, date, division and score written on it and email your photo along with your name, date, division and score written in your email (in case I can't read what your photo says.)
Email it to jenny@gunslinginghousewife.com .
This is not timed. Plan those shots carefully.
Highest scores of the division will be posted on GunslingingHousewife.com and the GH Facebook page.

Division 1: Rimfire Pistol - shoot at 15 feet
Division 2: Centerfire Pistol - shoot at 15 feet
Division 3: Open All - Any rimfire or centerfire pistol with optical and/or performance modifications - shoot at 21 feet
Division 4: Rimfire Rifle - shoot at 25 yards
Division 5: Centerfire Rifle - shoot at 25 yards
Division 6: Open All Rifles - any rimfire or centerfire rifle with optical and/or performance modifications - shoot at 50 yards

My silly little rain drop and rain cloud illustrations will not appreciate being shot at, but I'll appreciate seeing people go out and shoot as the weather gets nicer! Good luck and Happy Shooting!

Float-a-lay-hee-hoo!!!

I always make a point to check the toilet after I flush because I don't trust a lot of toilets. I don't want to be that guy who goes and leaves "presents" behind. Like the other day, I went into the bathroom and for the same reason I check after I flush, I also check before I go. Well, let's just say I looked down and did a Hank Hill sounding, "Aaaahhh!" Someone went poop. Someone didn't flush. Somewhere in my mind I like to pretend I know "whodunnit". So I flush, then pee, then flush again. And of course I do what any American would do, I run and tell my friend, unable to tell the story completely because I'm laughing so hard and all she can say is that I'm beet red and she can barely understand me, which gets us both giggling like a bunch of baffoons. Good times, good times.

The Ghosts of Tonsils Past

As a child my tonsils were so huge I would stop breathing at night and my mom used to have to wake me up to get me breathing again. Today this is linked to sleep apnea and doctors now take tonsils out for it. Of course, as a kid, the ENT I used to see would tell my parents it "wasn't a big deal" and that I'd "grow into" my tonsils. It wasn't until June 2005 and several episodes of tonsillitis and strep throat each year that I finally found a doctor who agreed that while it was "too dangerous" to remove them because of potential blood loss, they could burn part of them off and "shrink" them. So, for a few lovely gross photos, here was my pre-op adult tonsils, nice and full of pockets where food would get stuck no matter how much I gargled with Listerine and vexed me with perpetual "rotten egg" smelling breath.

And then, seven years later, THIS happens! What the hell is this!? For comparison sake, the right tonsil is pretty swollen, not to mention hard as a rock.

 

The bad breath is back. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of infection going on in there and for the love of all things sacred, I would like just ONE ENT say I can have them taken out. Take out all that crap. Tonsils. Adenoids. I'm sick of being sick for six months of the year that other doctors peg as "allergies". I'm not feeling any better from Claritin every day, it's just not shaking a common cold! It's not rocket science! The damned things are plaguing me every year and I'm done with them! You'll cut a baby out of me where there is blood loss involved but you can't cut and cauterize my tonsils off with a laser? Come on, docs, don't be stingy bastards, just take my f'ing tonsils out already. My right side of my face is swollen and I have pain radiating from my right tonsil (which feels like it's going to explode from pressure, just an FYI) that goes up along my face to the base of my sinuses below my right eye, to my right ear, down along my jaw and I'm starving and deal with the pain because I love food too damned much to settle for a liquid diet! AAAAAHHH!!!! Seriously, I'm so done with these things to the point I'd just get drunk as hell and take an exacto knife and a hot spoon and try to cut the damned things out and cauterize them myself. Awful, I know, right? It sucks how my eyes water up in pain every time I swallow or yawn and how my ear gets stuffed up from pressure and my hearing is sucking and I yell because I assume no one can hear me just like I can't hear them. AAAAAHHHH!!!! FAIL!!!

The Red Velvet Disaster of 2011

Remember how I was saying I think 2011 is gonna be bad? Well, it is. It wasn't even here yet when things started to get bad. I know the car needed work and that's fine, I was anticipating that. But last night, Jesse spilled an entire Scentsy pot of wax on the bathroom counter when he went to turn it off. I spent a while cleaning that mess and eventually wrapped it up in 15 minutes or so thanks to the help of my blow dryer, which is also broken now and still works, but only for a matter of time. Last night we didn't go out. We were supposed to stay home and drink champagne and listen to Coast To Coast. Instead, after cleaning and reading for a bit, I found my way to the bedroom and watched Monster Fish and fell asleep. Yep. Pretty amazing night. One of the biggest problems last night, though, was not the fact we weren't doing anything or having to clean the bathroom. No, it was the fact I wanted cupcakes really bad. Particularly red velvet cupcakes. My friend Chrissy makes the best cupcakes ever. I dunno if she puts caffeine or niccotine or crack in them, but you literally can't have just one. I'm not a huge frosting fan so I usually like to eat naked cupcakes, but the rest of my family loves the decorated ones, and really, she does make them look rather pretty. Anyway, I was telling Jesse how I wanted cupcakes and his response, "Call Chrissy, she always has cupcakes." I like the fact that my husband knows my friend simply for her abundance of cupcakes at any given moment because of how often she likes to bake them. This is a good thing too, because she wants to start her own cupcake line and eventually have her own place. Her reputation precedes her. Of course, I haven't got any cupcakes in the past 2 days and I decided I would just make my own red velvet cupcakes.

If you know me, you know that I cannot bake a cake or cupcake to save my life. Part of it may be lack of proper equipment, part may be lack of proper skill, but whatever it is, it adds up to complete failure in the end. I found a recipe online and it looked easy enough. As I started to dye the cocoa powder, I realized I didn't have enough red dye, so I had to substitute with other colors. So I thought I'd add some yellow and make an orange, but there wasn't enough. So I added some blue in hopes of achieving a deep purple. Of course there wasn't enough, so I added green and the end result was a swamp monster green velvet. How I went from red to it's complimentary green, let alone a really horrendous shade of green, is beyond me. All I can say is, typical.

I barely had enough cupcake cups and I don't have anything to house the paper cups in, so my cupcakes always turn out really deformed. Today was no exception to the rule. Long before they even got into the oven, my Swamp Monster Green Velvet cupcakes looked a disaster.

Upon removal from the oven, I gave my deformed green beasts an oven mitt thumbs down. (Which, I must say I love my oven mitts I got for Christmas from my parents this year!)

A closer look at the green trainwreck shows how the batter was so disgusted with itself, even it tried to escape the paper cups, but was stopped by a baked death. What's going on here!?

In the end, I wound up with a plate full of hideous green cupcakes. If the Misfit Toys were real, this is probably what they would have for a Christmas desert or something. Because I'm communist and don't like frosting, I decorated them with a little bit of powdered sugar and some green sugar sprinkles. This just added to their moldy appearance and made them look like the ground when snow starts to melt and you can see the grass below dirty snow. Ugly. However, I must say they taste amazing and I credit the Best Cupcake Recipes blog for the red velvet recipe which I turned into The Red Velvet Disaster of 2011 otherwise known as Swamp Monster Green Velvet Cupcakes.

Ding Ding Ding! Bonk! New Year's Predictions and Resolutions for 2011

Since marrying Jesse, it has become a bit of a New Years tradition for us to listen to Coast To Coast's New Year's Prediction show instead of going out. And just like the years before, we will be settling down on the couch or in bed with a bottle of champagne and a boy in bed (hopefully) listening to the Dings and Bonks of 2010 and hearing what 2011 has in store.

On that note, I have decided to make my own list of predictions for 2011. Personally, 2010 was a pretty epic year for me and a lot of great things happened, I met a lot of amazing new friends, learned some cool new skills, worked some interesting jobs, lost one car and gained another and just truly thought it was all in all, a great year. However, I can't say I am as hopeful for 2011. I think 2011 is going to be a little bit of a challenge, not so much a total suckfest, but there will definitely be some obstacles. That aside, time for my 2011 Predictions.


- There will be a mass meat recall due to some form of tainted beef.
- There will be a big fire in the central valleys of California.
- A new species of dinosaur will be discovered Utah.
- A new species of bird will be discovered in the Amazon.
- There will be a disasterous earthquake in India and it will be felt throughout many neighboring countries causing a massive outbreak of diseases, looting and rioting and the US will throw more soldiers to Afghanistan to try and stabilize things there.
- The economy will start to show signs of recovery (not stabilization yet.)
- TSA is going to become stricter on their regulations on what you can and can't take on planes, however, the full body scanners are going to start to phase out due to costs.
- Facebook will be at the center of a large class action suit over privacy rights (they will win under the pretense people can opt how much information they choose to share on the internet about themselves.)


OK, that's all I got for predictions. Now for resolutions.
- Get rid of the 10 lbs I gained over the holidays.
- Join a gym.
- Have all our cars running in decent shape.
- Buy my CZ-527 Carbine in 7.62x39.
- Put in for deer tags.
- Learn something new (anything?)
- Go out more often with Jesse on husband-wife dates.
- Try to do a family vacation somewhere fun.
- Find new places to go fishing.
- Brush up on my knitting skills.
- Take up archery.
- Hike all (or most of) the trails in the greater Reno/Sparks area.
- Go horseback riding.


And on that note, I say Happy New Year's to everyone. 2010 was great, but hopefully 2011 is even better. Be safe out there. The weather is kinda crappy in some places. Remember the busses are free tonight. Take advantage of them!